Officer Meeting Minutes – January 2017

Seneschal – Honorable Lord Taran Saraev

  1. Welcome and Introduction
  2. December minutes
    1. Motion to suspend reading apart from corrections
      1. Motion made by Lady Moire Grey
      2. Seconded by Lady Ciaran O’Muireagain
    2. Corrections
      1. Minutes taken by Lady Ursula Blackpool
      2. Change Meisterin Adelheid Leinwater to Gravin Eva van Oudeachterkol under Exchequer
      3. Add title of Gravin in front of Eva in Chamberlain report
  3. Village Faire bids
    1. Honorable Lord Taran Saraev submitting bid at February business meeting
  4. Financial policy (Lord David Archer, incoming seneschal)
    1. Per financial document — Gravin Eva van Oudeachterkol (Exchequer) and Lord David Archer (Seneschal – incoming) can spend up to 300 dollars expenditure for emergencies (must be brought up for review at next officer’s meeting)
    2. New Kingdom financial policy additions
      1. Per kingdom policy, baronies cannot charge royalty for feast or bed
      2. Visiting crown not charged for same
      3. Statements concerning baronial treaty — any change must be voted upon
      4. Electronic officer meetings to approve funds — 5 officers, one of which must be Seneschal or Exchequer
    3. Motion to authorize 300 dollars for emergencies for Trident Tourney
      1. Motion made by Lord David Archer
      2. Seconded by Lady Moire Grey
    4. Fashion Square Mall
      1. Mall should remain open if property changes hands, but no official information has come down from mall corporate
    5. Thank yous for 2016
  5. Minister of Youth
    1. No new business
  6. Constable – Cu Meda o Siodhacain
    1. Parking at Trident Tourney
    2. Lost and Found auction
      1. Proceeds to Constable’s office
  7. Sites Committee
    1. Meeting in March – before business meeting; 6:30 pm at Panera


Hospitaller – Thyri Bersi (deputy)

  1. Spare tunics for Trident Tourney
  2. Garb-making day soon for Gold Key
  3. Demo coming up at Avian Reconditioning Center
    1. No armored combat but rapier okay
    2. Projects and arts allowed
  4. Hoggetowne Faire – last weekend of January, first weekend of February


Exchequer – Gravin Eva van Oudeachterkol

  1. Financial report for 2016
    1. Sent to Kingdom
    2. Published in Revelry in March or so
  2. Officer lists versus public lists
    1. Encouraging guild leaders and autocrats to join officer lists
    2. Pairing guild leaders with officers
    3. Autocrats under Seneschal; guild leaders to Art-Sci
      1. Guild Liaison as deputy for Art-Sci – possible


Art-Sci – Lady Ursula Blackpool

  1. Classes scheduled through March
  2. Tiger now largesse deputy



  1. Heavy
    1. New list eric now in possession
  2. Rapier
    1. No report
  3. Archery
    1. No practice due to Trident Tourney
  4. Thrown Weapons
    1. Tournaments at Trident


Chronicler – Lady Ciaran O’Muireagain

  1. Officer audits
  2. Blog – new information and stuff
  3. Deadline for Revelry submissions – January 28th


Herald – Lord Kylan Hundr

  1. Working with people on names and devices


Webminister – Lady Angeline la Chaniere de Murat

  1. Switched to new server
  2. Changes to website
  3. New emails for officers
    1. Suggesting to transfer officer emails to
  4. Adding people to officer list



  1. Transferring to Lady Adelina de Bretigny
  2. Retainers for Trident Tourney
  3. Retainers Facebook group


Baron and Baroness – Baroness Ilene Johnnestoune

  1. New coronets
    1. Debuted Friday at Trident Tourney
  2. New thrones
    1. Disposal of old thrones
      1. Motion to decommission and dispose of thrones
        1. Motion made by Honorable Lord Amalric de Mannia
        2. Seconded by Lady Moire Grey



  1. Loch Gryffyn
    1. No business
  2. Swampkeype
    1. Swampthyng



  1. No business


Unfinished Business

  1. Trident Tourney
    1. 134 prereservations
    2. Feast sold out
      1. Extra table added
      2. Below the salt feast out back
    3. Lunch for 100 people
      1. Extras for staff, royalty, nobles
    4. Feast crew reporting on Thursday night
    5. Sanitation crew
      1. Clean as you go
    6. Bedding for Mistress Marian


New Business

  1. Clans
    1. Discuss after Trident


Good of Barony

  1. Kingdom accepted bid for Fall Coronation
    1. Posadnik Sasha Gregor’evich Vilanov will be event steward
  2. Kingdom officers running Moot
    1. Lord David Archer will be event steward
  3. Art-Sci
    1. Castlemere received patron of the arts
    2. Thyri Bersi and Lady Adelina de Bretigny will be Gulf Wars champions


Populace Announcements

  1. Seneschal and Webminister to keep list of greater baronial officers
  2. Meeting dates


Meeting closed


Medieval Jokes

From, August 30, 2013. Submitted by Lady Moire Gray.

Did medieval people tell jokes? While it might seem that the Middle Ages was a time of being devout and serious, there was also laughter and mirth. We can find many works that were meant to be funny more than anything else, and even in chronicles you can find stories of kings and bishops who would be laughing at some foolish joke.

What did medieval people find funny? Much of the humour can be described as rude and crude: jokes about sex or bodily functions seem to be very popular. The targets of the jokes might be foolish husbands or bad wives, the local priest, a king, or even historical figures.

One of the best known joke books of the Middle Ages is the Facetiae by Poggio Bracciolini (1380-1459). Poggio was an Italian scholar who spent most of his career working for the Papacy, but he also wrote about a wide number of topics and was seen as one of the brightest minds of his time. He explains that he wrote the Facetiae because “it is proper, and almost a matter of necessity commended by philosophers, that our mind, weighed down by a variety of cares and anxieties, should now and then enjoy relaxation from its constant labour, and be incited to cheerfulness and mirth by some humorous recreation.”

Here are just a few of the jokes and stories of wit found in the Facetiae:

A Friar, who was but moderately considerate, was preaching to the people at Tivoli, and thundering against adultery, which he depicted in colours of the deepest dye. “It is such a horrible sin,” said he, “that I had rather undo ten virgins than one married woman!” Many, among the congregation, would have shared his preference.

The Abbot of Septimo, a very fat and corpulent man, on his way to Florence one evening, enquired of a peasant he met, “Do you think I shall be able to enter the gate?” Of course, he thus meant to ask whether he was likely to reach the city before the closing of the gates. But the country-man, rallying his stoutness, replied, “To be sure, you will; a cartload of hay gets through, why should not you?”

The father of  a friend of ours had an intimacy with the wife of a downright fool, who, besides, had the advantage of stuttering. One night he went to her house, believing the husband to be away, knocked on the door, and claimed admittance, imitating the cuckold’s voice. The blockhead, who was at home, had no sooner heard him, than he called to his wife, “Giovanna, open the door, Giovanna, let him in; for it does seems to be me.”

A man who had given his wife a valuable dress, complained that he never exercised his marital rights without it costing him more than a golden ducat each time. “It is your fault,” answered the wife, “why do you not, by frequent repetition, bring down the cost to one farthing?”

A Florentine I was acquainted with was under the necessity of buying a horse in Rome, and bargained with the dealer, who asked him twenty-five gold ducats, too high a price; he offered to pay fifteen ducats cash, and to owe the rest; to which the dealer agreed. On the following day, when asked for the balance, the buyer refused, saying, “We must keep our agreement: it was settled between us that I was to be your debtor; I should be so no longer if I were to pay you.”

In Florence, a young woman, somewhat of a simpleton, was on the point of delivering a baby. She had long been enduring acute pain, and the midwife, candle in hand, inspected her secret area, in order to ascertain if the child was coming. “Look also on the other side,” said the poor creature, “my husband has sometimes taken that road.”

Several persons were conversing in Florence, and each was wishing for something that would make him happy; such is always the case. One would have liked to be the Pope, another a king, a third something else, when a talkative child, who happened to be there, said, “I wish I were a melon.” “And for what reason?” they asked. “Because everyone would smell my bottom.” It was usual for those who want to buy a melon to apply their noses underneath.

An inhabitant of Perugia was going along the streets, wrapped in thought and melancholy, and, being met by someone who enquired the motive of his concern, replied that he owed money which he could not pay. The man responded, “Leave that anxiety to your creditor.”

An inhabitant of Gobbio, named Giovanni, an exceedingly jealous man, racked his brains for a way of ascertaining, without a shadow of a doubt, whether his wife had an intimacy with any other man. By a deeply matured contrivance, well worthy of a jealous mind, he emasculated himself with his own hands. “Now,” he thought, “if my wife becomes pregnant, she will not be able to deny her adultery.”

Francesco Quartnense, a Florentine merchant, resided in Genoa with his wife and family. His children were thin and lanky, while those of the Genoese are generally healthy and hardy. He was asked one day why his children were so spare and of such a weak constitution, it being the reverse with the young Genoese. “The reason is easily given, ” he said. “I work alone at manufacturing my children, but you have quite a number of assistants in the making of yours.” It is fact that, soon after their wedding, the Genoese take again to the sea, and leave their wives, for many years in succession, to the care of other men, as they say.

One of our fellow citizens, a very witty man, was labouring under a painful and lengthy illness, was attended by a Friar who came to comfort him, and, among other words of solace, told him that God thus especially chastens those he loves, and inflicts his visitations upon them. “No wonder then,” retorted the sick man, “that God has so few friends; if that is the way he favours them, he ought to have still less.”

A young Florentine was going down to River Arno with one of those nets in which they wash wool, and met a frolicsome boy, who, out of fun, asked him what birds he was going to catch with that net of his? “I am going to the Brothel’s outlet,” replied the youth, “to spread my net there, and catch your mother.” “Mind you search the place carefully,” retorted the boy, “for you will be sure to find yours there also.”

I knew an old Bishop who had lost some of his teeth, and complained of others being so loose that he was afraid they would soon fall out. “Never fear,” said one of his friends, “they won’t fall.” “And why not?” enquired the Bishop. His friend replied, “Because my testicles have been hanging loose for the last forty years, as if they were going to fall off, and yet, there they are still.”

Upcoming Events – January 2017


  • January 20-22—Trident Tourney (Darkwater)
  • January 27-29 — Tournament of Champions
  • January 28-29 — Hoggetowne Faire (An Crosaire)



  • February 3-5 — Tourney of Three Ships (Southkeep)
  • February 3-5 — Hoggetowne Faire (An Crosaire)
  • February 4 — Cattleraids (Starhaven)
  • February 4 — Lions Tourney (Oldenfeld)
  • February 10-12 — Cutlasses & Corsairs (Castlemere)
  • February 17-19 — St. Val’s (An Crosaire)
  • February 24-26 — Swampthyng (Swampkeype)



  • March 12-19 — Gulf Wars XXVI
  • March 31-2 — Spring Coronation

Vicar and Vicaress Letter – January 2017

Hail and well met to the good people of Darkwater!

We wanted to take a moment to tell you how excited we are for Trident Tournament and encourage you to come out if you have been debating whether or not to go. It’s going to be an incredible homecoming party as we move into the next phase of our Barony and send our Noble Baronial Parents off to a well-deserved and well-earned rest and relaxation.

If you haven’t had a chance to look over the schedule, our two main tourneys for the weekend is the Baroness’s Blade lyst and the Trident Tourney lyst. Baroness’s Blade will stand as Her Nexcellency’s Champion on the Rapier Field and will represent the Barony in the Bragging Rights Tournament. We want to thank Lady Tetradia for her excellent showing in last year’s Bragging Rights Rapier lyst. For the Trident Tourney, our good Marshall, Honorable Lady Vivienne, has planned an amazingly fun and inventive Tourney.

Please remember that for both Tourneys, you are asked to have your Consort present with you at the opening of the Tourney if at all possible, and for the Baroness Blade lyst, a letter of intent is requested in advance or delivered in person on the day of the tourney.
Even if you don’t fight, there are tons of amazing things to do at the event including an incredible list of children’s activities for our numerous Youth before they have to go run the Children’s Crusade at Clan’s. There is the Pre-Court Homecoming Dance in the Feast Hall as well as the much anticipated Concert by Mistress Marian, known mundanely as Heather Dale, in the evening. If you have not had a chance to preview some of her work, we encourage you to begin your exploration of her body of work and find the same joy, love, and light that we both share in her music.

 We can’t wait to see you there!

James and Milesenda

Vicar and Vicaress


Renaissance Man – Lyrics

Lyrics by Heather Dale (© Amphisbaena Music 1998 )

I may never be a painter
With pigment, shell, and brush
My angels seem to swagger
And my devils seem to blush
And I think I’ll never fancy
Being scared of poison dust
But I’ve tried it, and may try it yet again

I don’t think I could embroider
On a swatch of linen fine
My patience seems to wander
As I paint each tiny line
Though I rather like the colors
I just never have the time
But I’ve tried it, and may try it yet again

Well I thought of learning fighting
But I haven’t got a truck
And I always get a bruising
Even if my shield arm’s up
And I’m still a little nervous
That they make you wear a cup
But I’ve tried it, and may try it yet again

I’ve puttered in the kitchen
With a dish or two I’ll cope
But after ten or twenty-five
I reach my end of rope
I am only good with dishes
When I’m rubbing them with soap
But I’ve tried it, and may try it yet again

Well I must be good at something
Something rare and undefined
Like raising bats for hunting
Maybe adding spice to wine
And perhaps I’ll be a laurel
Or I’ll put it all behind
But I’ll try it, and may try it yet again
Oh, I will try it, and may try it yet again

Arts and Sciences Letter – January 2017

Greetings from the Art-Sci Office!

This month’s classes are listed below:

January 5:  Business Meeting  – No Class

January 12: Scribal Guild: Illuminated Notecards — Ursula Blackpool

January 19: The Dream — HL Taran Saraev

January 26: Medieval Herb Garden — Lady Rahil bint Haroun

The calendar is ready to be filled with new classes… if you have been aching to share your talents or knowledge with the populace, please send me an email. I would love to put you on the calendar. We need both largesse and regular classes. Send your class ideas and preferred dates to teach to me at

Thank you so much for sharing your talents, knowledge, and time with all of us,

Lady Ursula Blackpool

mka: Carmen Heffelfinger

Darkwater Art/Sci Officer

Darkwater Scribal Leader


Baronial Nobles’ Letter – January 2017

Happy New Year!

We hope that everyone had a wonderful holiday season, however you chose to celebrate. We wish everyone a year full of joy and prosperity, and all the best that life has to offer.

In December Darkwater hosted Guild Day, run by our newly-minted arts Champion Thyri.  The theme for the event was ‘A Season of Giving’, with the emphasis on learning to make gift items.  It was a wonderful event, with some really fun classes.  Our thanks to the staff for a relaxing, art-filled day.

This month is a little bittersweet for us.  In two short weeks we will be hosting Trident Tourney, where our successors will be invested as the new Baron & Baroness of Darkwater.  We have every confidence that they will do a great job, and we hope that you will show them all the love and support that you showed us.

It has truly been an amazing four years.  Darkwater has always been our home and our family, and it has been an honor and a privilege to serve as your Baron & Baroness.  While the responsibilities are now passing on to others, we will always be available if we are needed.

There are many that we owe thanks to for helping us accomplish our tasks during our tenure, but there are a few that deserve special recognition:

All of our predecessors for their advice, encouragement and support

Christoff Koch for serving as our Majordomo for several years

Adelheid Leinwater for creating our investiture garb, helping with untold tasks, taking over as our Majordomo at the end, and always being a rock for us to lean on

Moire Gray for all of her hard work serving as our chart signet and retainer

Ciaran O’Muireagain for all of the retaining, heralding, toting, fetching, and overall minion-ness

There are so many who helped us over the last several years that we couldn’t begin to name them all.  Please know that we appreciate every helping hand and kind word that we received.

Every month in this letter we have tried to include ‘something to ponder’ at the end.  This month we leave you with some very simple concepts.

Be kind to each other.  Share joy and happiness.  Always give more than you take.  Love with an open heart.

Never forget that Darkwater is home.

Always in Service,

Gavine & Ilene